Transition to motherhood

The myth of motherhood

Having a baby is supposed to be one of the most exciting and happy experiences you’ll ever have. Women are expected to ‘blossom’ during their pregnancy and immediately fall in love with their baby. Society views childbirth as a time for celebration, fulfilment and hope. A woman is therefore under great pressure to act and feel in this way.

The truth about motherhood

Often the reality is quite different and you may be surprised to experience feelings you hadn’t expected. Childbirth can leave you feeling exhausted and anxious, as well as shocked by the sudden changes in your life as a result of becoming a mother. Instead of the expected happiness, many women struggle with the new set of demands a baby brings, the lack of independence and routine, together with the long hours of work within the home.

The transition to motherhood

Transition to motherhood involves adapting to physical, emotional and social changes and there is little support or preparation for this in our society. Therefore: Most mothers experience difficulties adjusting to their new role and may feel overwhelmed by the demands. Myths about motherhood can create unrealistic expectations. Therefore: Unrealistic expectations lead to feelings of failure when problems occur. “I remember wishing someone had warned me how hard it was going to be at first, but then I realised that even if they had it wouldn’t have prepared me.”

Your emotional health

Having a baby can be joyful, exciting and rewarding. However, mothers and fathers can be under great pressure to act and feel happy and excited during pregnancy and after birth. The reality of transitioning to parenthood is quite different and you may be surprised to experience feelings you hadn’t expected. Be assured: it is also common for new mothers or fathers to experience anxiety, depression or emotional distress.

As many as one in five women experience emotional difficulties during pregnancy and in the first year after their baby’s birth. This can happen to anyone.

Perinatal positivity – a video developed by expert clinicians with local women and charities in North West London

If you are experiencing emotional difficulties during this time, it may be that you are experiencing postnatal depression and anxiety. It can occur straight after the baby is born or months later. Each woman is affected in her own particular way but some of the common causes, symptoms and advice about what helps can be found in the pages and related links below.